The Curious Incident of the Double Breakfast
Now before we start the story I need to know you are all sitting comfortably...on your sofas and tails; keeping your paws clean and off the work surfaces if at all possible. Here endeth the health warning.
Yesterday I had two breakfasts. I did not let on that I had two breakfasts what with me being a dog and all I can't actually talk. I used my big brown dolefuls to great effect and got fed twice. Two empty dog bowls and a full tummy. Yummy Yummy. My owners did not communicate the fact that they had both fed me at breakfast until it came to dinner time, though one did wonder why I kept needing to go outside. They must learn to communicate better. Having two breakfasts did not stop me wanting my bonio or the left over broccoli mind you. I mean what's dog to do when we are in lock down? Go on a diet? No chance. Can't visit friends. Can't go tearing round, though my tearing around days are long gone, so it's more of a half hearted half circle these days, Grandma's garden. Can't stand and natter to friends we meet so I can stare pointedly into the middle distance whilst the owner catches up on news from school. Neither can I sniff a gate post to see who's been there because I only manage to get myself yanked away when I do start to lick. Oh what else is a dog to do? Talk? Sit? On a hard pavement at my age. Never.
Back to me. It's always about me. My favourite position is curled up on my blanket like a princess. I am a boy dog. I also like my comfort. Being a bony old lurcher I don't see why I can't perch on top of a nest of fine feather pillows and be fed doggy biscuits on demand. Today I have claimed my usual spot on the sofa and am currently breathing heavily pretending to be asleep in case the Lock Downs decide that a week of self inflicted self isolation is just a few days too long and take me out more than once for a W.A.L.K. Shuddery ear flaps no chance! Have I mentioned I am a lazy old thing. Like Bagpuss but dog-like. Miaow. Oh and I'm not pink.
So, the Lock Downs (aka my owners) are - in no particular order - one just home from uni (lots of interesting bags to sniff there), one self employed and mildly panicked and one pro-tired. This is like retired but not quite. Semi busy. There is a lot of it about. We all watched the PM last night and even I noticed the mood dump. I quite agree with the Lock Downs when they said that if people had actually paid attention and not gone up Snowdon or to the seaside in their hundreds of thousands at the weekend then we wouldn't all be stuck at home staring at the telly and grumping at each other. As long as they don't shout at me is all I can say it as makes my ears go down.
In my 12 years on this planet I have learnt much, so they say, and so in Tails from the Sofa I am intending to share my deep thoughts and impart my dog wisdom. Today's thought for the day is this...if 20% of the world's population is in lock down does this mean that 20% of the world's doggies are going to be as well? If so, can all the sofa chewers out there please refrain. The Lock Downs can't replace the sofa cos the shops are shut.
Woof woof.
Yesterday I had two breakfasts. I did not let on that I had two breakfasts what with me being a dog and all I can't actually talk. I used my big brown dolefuls to great effect and got fed twice. Two empty dog bowls and a full tummy. Yummy Yummy. My owners did not communicate the fact that they had both fed me at breakfast until it came to dinner time, though one did wonder why I kept needing to go outside. They must learn to communicate better. Having two breakfasts did not stop me wanting my bonio or the left over broccoli mind you. I mean what's dog to do when we are in lock down? Go on a diet? No chance. Can't visit friends. Can't go tearing round, though my tearing around days are long gone, so it's more of a half hearted half circle these days, Grandma's garden. Can't stand and natter to friends we meet so I can stare pointedly into the middle distance whilst the owner catches up on news from school. Neither can I sniff a gate post to see who's been there because I only manage to get myself yanked away when I do start to lick. Oh what else is a dog to do? Talk? Sit? On a hard pavement at my age. Never.
Back to me. It's always about me. My favourite position is curled up on my blanket like a princess. I am a boy dog. I also like my comfort. Being a bony old lurcher I don't see why I can't perch on top of a nest of fine feather pillows and be fed doggy biscuits on demand. Today I have claimed my usual spot on the sofa and am currently breathing heavily pretending to be asleep in case the Lock Downs decide that a week of self inflicted self isolation is just a few days too long and take me out more than once for a W.A.L.K. Shuddery ear flaps no chance! Have I mentioned I am a lazy old thing. Like Bagpuss but dog-like. Miaow. Oh and I'm not pink.
So, the Lock Downs (aka my owners) are - in no particular order - one just home from uni (lots of interesting bags to sniff there), one self employed and mildly panicked and one pro-tired. This is like retired but not quite. Semi busy. There is a lot of it about. We all watched the PM last night and even I noticed the mood dump. I quite agree with the Lock Downs when they said that if people had actually paid attention and not gone up Snowdon or to the seaside in their hundreds of thousands at the weekend then we wouldn't all be stuck at home staring at the telly and grumping at each other. As long as they don't shout at me is all I can say it as makes my ears go down.
In my 12 years on this planet I have learnt much, so they say, and so in Tails from the Sofa I am intending to share my deep thoughts and impart my dog wisdom. Today's thought for the day is this...if 20% of the world's population is in lock down does this mean that 20% of the world's doggies are going to be as well? If so, can all the sofa chewers out there please refrain. The Lock Downs can't replace the sofa cos the shops are shut.
Woof woof.
Comments
Post a Comment