As You Were

You all ok out there? We've been hearing about some doggy owners who've been ill for 6 weeks so do take care. This virus thing is a complete b*...the Lock Down has told me off for bad language. I'm not sorry!

Things at Lock Down Mews are much of a muchness to be honest. Still no idea what day of the week it is, still talking to each other, still having moments of staring into space; and that's not just me.

The only news worth noting in my life at the moment is that I've had a dodgy tum (ate grass which helps) and I'm moulting. You know those clumps of underfur fluff type clumps, those. Adds to the tumbleweed. The Lock Down combed me the other day. You could have lined several birds nests with the fluff. Other than that nothing is changed. I was a complete walk refuser the other night though. Digging my claws into the pavement and straining on the lead seemed to do the trick. Relieved myself and turned back home. No more than 200 paces. Perfect.

If you are a dog and you're reading this, apart from you being unique, how's things with you? Are you being fed extra treats? Lucky thing. Are you getting too much fuss? Growl gently if the tiddlies are pulling your tail, no snapping please. Are you struggling with the thought of separation anxiety when things return to some semblance of normality? Me too. Are you relishing the attention? Oh yes indeedy. Are you providing a 24/7 counselling service? Other pets can offer this service not just dogs but Fred the Goldfish says s/he can't really help. This is because by the time you've finished asking your question s/he's forgotten what you asked apparently but offers a Watch The Little Fishie service instead which is proving very popular. No, really. In Lock Down Mews Fred is female in case you need to know, which you don't really. We know this to be true cos there were fish eggs once. Exciting. But no motherhood for her unfortunately.

The Lock Down has found a routine finally. Not that she didn't have one before but apparently she has A Plan now. I have one of those too. Involves sleep, food, rest, treat, sleep, toddle, sleep. I may run up and down stairs a bit too if there's a spring in my step or someone randomly opens the fridge. I throw caution to the wind and hurtle like a puppy. Aaah those were the days. I'm a rescue as I mentioned before so the Lock Downs have no idea about my heritage. Sad but happy.

Right then gang - I'm going to run a prize free competition to alleviate the possibility of boredom. If it doesn't break the Gin's Done Please Refill guidance please tweet out pics of you doing doggy zoom bombing. You know things like bursting into the room during a webinar looking cute, barking during a zoom/virtual meeting or cleaning yourself in the background (c*ts can join in this bit too!) Hashtag is #dogzooms. The Lock Down says her twitter handle is out there and if you know it you know it.

Yes, yes, I need to get out more. Oh I can't. Last laugh's on me then. And relax.

Finally remember don't forget to keep your paws clean. Stay alert... something our guard dogs are expert at as our guest blogger from a few weeks ago can attest...stay home and stay strong. And in order to stay calm don't watch too many briefings. There's a lot of shouting at Lock Down Mews when there's a news briefing on. If I could be bothered I'd be barking to support them. At this rate we'll have a new set of rules. I'm putting my pocket money on Sit. Stay. Don't give my your paw.

Woof woof 🐾

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