Tails from the Sofa

Now as any greyhound owner knows the zoomies is what happens when you decide to go loop-de-loop in circles around the house, up and down the stairs or round the garden like your tail's on fire. Over and over till your battery's flat. Aaah those were the days my friend, I thought they'd never end...These days it appears those doing the zoomies are more  likely to be doing meetings with other Lock Downs from the comfort of their own home than charging about in circles. Metaphorical ones still apply don't panic.  So here in the interest of my continuing public service broadcast mandate and of course respecting GDPR (Greyhound's Done Please Rest - all greyhound family members covered) these are my Lock Downs ill considered thoughts on zooming. 1. Buy shares. Oh, too late! 2. Get dressed before zooming. No one wants to see you in your PJ's. Especially if you are still in bed. True story. Not the Lock Down, heaven forbid. 3. No alcohol. You may need it but save the al...

Morning world. Is it Saturday? I can't tell the difference any more. In my life one day is very much like another anyway but for the Lock Downs it must be very confusing. The poppets. They seem to be coping so far but I understand there's a long way to go yet. Before I go on I do hope you're all keeping your paws clean. Apparently if you sing happy birthday twice through that's about 20 seconds which is enough to upset the equilibrium of this pesky virus. Thinking about it though surely this is dependent on how big your paws are and how fast you sing. Whatever you do though stay safe. My cat friends (!) are always cleaning their paws so maybe there's a lesson in there for us all. Furballs!  Yesterday, one of the Lock Downs said that they always planned their Saturday outing on a Friday night even if it was just doing a bit of shopping or nipping out for cake. Said that it felt really weird to know they can't but totally understood why they couldn't. May I ta...

Morning campers.  Sun's shining. Bit chilly here though not cold enough for my lovely coat. Yes, I have a coat. Lots of lurchers do. We're delicate souls. So, what's on your to do list today? Mine consists of the following activities listed below, well I say activity...you might say that but I couldn't possibly comment... At the time of writing I'm still in bed. It's 8.15am. It's not my bed I'm in obviously, that's used sparingly because it's a very special place. I'm actually on the Lock Down's bed. Right in the middle. Perfect. I'll get up when the Lock Down goes in hunt of more coffee I imagine; if I can be bothered. Not sure if I'll get up yet as I've just chased a few imaginary rabbits and I need a rest. When I do get downstairs I'll flop down on the carpet. Walking down stairs is exhausting. I can't run down them too often in case I hurt my elderly arthritic paws. (Sympathy please). Then I'll wait nicely for ...

Now before we start the story I need to know you are all sitting comfortably...on your sofas and tails; keeping your paws clean and off the work surfaces if at all possible. Here endeth the health warning. Yesterday I had two breakfasts. I did not let on that I had two breakfasts what with me being a dog and all I can't actually talk. I used my big brown dolefuls to great effect and got fed twice. Two empty dog bowls and a full tummy. Yummy Yummy. My owners did not communicate the fact that they had both fed me at breakfast until it came to dinner time, though one did wonder why I kept needing to go outside. They must learn to communicate better. Having two breakfasts did not stop me wanting my bonio or the left over broccoli mind you. I mean what's dog to do when we are in lock down? Go on a diet? No chance. Can't visit friends. Can't go tearing round, though my tearing around days are long gone, so it's more of a half hearted half circle these days, Grandma'...