Tails from the Sofa

Yo dudes. You all ok out there? It's kindness week so let's be kinder to each other shall we? Golly, that sounds like an order. It's not. You oomans have beem A.Maz.Ing lately but let's still hold each other close (you don't need to be in the same physical place as someone to hold them close) and be gentle. You could all look into my eyes if you like. Apparently this is really calming. The Lock Down and I lock eyes regularly in a weird staring contest type thing which is oddly reassuring for her, the poor lamb. Over sharing? Sorry. The Lock Down was really busy yesterday so I didn't see her very much. I checked on her once or twice in case she had a biscuit on her personage, but she didn't so I left the room. How selfish! She knows that she wasn't as busy as some people by any stretch of the imagination by the way but says her day was productive nonetheless. And fun. I heard laughing at one point. Goodness.  I'm getting a bit worried about you lot if

You all ok out there? We've been hearing about some doggy owners who've been ill for 6 weeks so do take care. This virus thing is a complete b*...the Lock Down has told me off for bad language. I'm not sorry! Things at Lock Down Mews are much of a muchness to be honest. Still no idea what day of the week it is, still talking to each other, still having moments of staring into space; and that's not just me. The only news worth noting in my life at the moment is that I've had a dodgy tum (ate grass which helps) and I'm moulting. You know those clumps of underfur fluff type clumps, those. Adds to the tumbleweed. The Lock Down combed me the other day. You could have lined several birds nests with the fluff. Other than that nothing is changed. I was a complete walk refuser the other night though. Digging my claws into the pavement and straining on the lead seemed to do the trick. Relieved myself and turned back home. No more than 200 paces. Perfect. If you are a dog

Morning. Or should I say morning again? More of this later. How's you all doing? Things were a bit off kilter here last week as I understand it was for many people. The rainy weather didn't help. We all feel better in the sunshine even an old sofa lie-a-bed like me don't we? Some of us positively bask in it. I actually request a short walk by hanging around looking doleful by the front door when the sun shines. Glory be. My role as an unofficial therapy dog was therefore in much demand last week. The Lock Downs all told me their troubles...bless them. Everyone together in one place for weeks on end sometimes has its less than lovely moments don't you agree? Nothing serious don't panic, just a general level of grumpiness. The state of the nation perhaps? I hope that if this is you your dog is listening to you. A nice  walk is a good opportunity for a dog to ooman natter, though the Lock Down tries not to actually talk out loud. Of course we're only allowed out on

Mornin' all (what time is it actually? Every day is defo merging into one here at Lock Down Mews) Today, so they announced, the Lock Down's are having "another" major tidy up. This one requires sofa moving apparently. No one will find any money down there but I bet you a pound to a pinch of dog food they find one of the Lock Down's socks. She has a penchant for fluffy unicorn socks the poor dear. Luckily these days I don't actually eat socks (can't be bothered) though I know some of my brethren do like a nice stinky sock. Think vets fees darlings vets fees...let alone the idea of the cone of shame. Personally I think that they are tidying as some form of displacement activity. The tidy up if it follows previous form will involve: Huffing and puffing...not exertion, exasperation. Bits of wool, food particles, fur in the sofa. You know the story. Moaning about too many cushions. No such thing. Nest making material for my inner cat. Me barking a

The Lock Down (I may have mentioned this before so do forgive me if I have; I'm getting on a bit and am prone to repetition, I said I'm prone...oh never mind...) is taking part in a #dailywritingchallenge. Today's word so she tells me is ritual . She's been pondering this word all day and we decided that we'd write it together so  if something gets lost in translation we can blame each other. It's a dog's life. As you will know, if you've read Tails from the Sofa before, I am a creature of habit. The thing the Lock Down is wondering is though is whose habit is it? Mine and they follow me or theirs and I fall in line? Same happens at work with cultural mores one supposes. The Lock Down is self employed so sets her own habits and routines. Every habit is punctuated by the ritual of coffee that much I do know. I also know when it's 5.00pm because that's the time for doggy din dins. I lead (geddit) they follow here or else I am prone to bark sharply.

Evening folks. It's Saturday night so that means Party 🎉Time? No? Oh well. It's not party time here either. The Lock Down say she feels somewhat discombobulated by the latest news so has had more than one glass of something she calls 'a cheeky pinot' to help her dislocate a bit...these days I can't say I blame her, can you? If I was in the Lock Downs shoes I'd be having double bonio as well. It's all got a bit blurggh lately. Anyway friends I've had a nice Saturday have you? It rained first thing so no walkies (yay!). I watched Hotel for Dogs this afternoon to which I paid no attention at all. It was clichéd nonsense apparently. I like watching sheep dog trails though and my friend the whippersnapper whippet from down the bank puts his paws on the TV cabinet to watch television. Now that is cheeky! Does he contribute to their TV licence I wonder? So, friends what are you up to since you can't go out. Staying in is the new going out so they say. Quic