Tails from the Sofa

Mornin' all (what time is it actually? Every day is defo merging into one here at Lock Down Mews) Today, so they announced, the Lock Down's are having "another" major tidy up. This one requires sofa moving apparently. No one will find any money down there but I bet you a pound to a pinch of dog food they find one of the Lock Down's socks. She has a penchant for fluffy unicorn socks the poor dear. Luckily these days I don't actually eat socks (can't be bothered) though I know some of my brethren do like a nice stinky sock. Think vets fees darlings vets fees...let alone the idea of the cone of shame. Personally I think that they are tidying as some form of displacement activity. The tidy up if it follows previous form will involve: Huffing and puffing...not exertion, exasperation. Bits of wool, food particles, fur in the sofa. You know the story. Moaning about too many cushions. No such thing. Nest making material for my inner cat. Me barking a...

The Lock Down (I may have mentioned this before so do forgive me if I have; I'm getting on a bit and am prone to repetition, I said I'm prone...oh never mind...) is taking part in a #dailywritingchallenge. Today's word so she tells me is ritual . She's been pondering this word all day and we decided that we'd write it together so  if something gets lost in translation we can blame each other. It's a dog's life. As you will know, if you've read Tails from the Sofa before, I am a creature of habit. The thing the Lock Down is wondering is though is whose habit is it? Mine and they follow me or theirs and I fall in line? Same happens at work with cultural mores one supposes. The Lock Down is self employed so sets her own habits and routines. Every habit is punctuated by the ritual of coffee that much I do know. I also know when it's 5.00pm because that's the time for doggy din dins. I lead (geddit) they follow here or else I am prone to bark sharply....

Evening folks. It's Saturday night so that means Party 🎉Time? No? Oh well. It's not party time here either. The Lock Down say she feels somewhat discombobulated by the latest news so has had more than one glass of something she calls 'a cheeky pinot' to help her dislocate a bit...these days I can't say I blame her, can you? If I was in the Lock Downs shoes I'd be having double bonio as well. It's all got a bit blurggh lately. Anyway friends I've had a nice Saturday have you? It rained first thing so no walkies (yay!). I watched Hotel for Dogs this afternoon to which I paid no attention at all. It was clichéd nonsense apparently. I like watching sheep dog trails though and my friend the whippersnapper whippet from down the bank puts his paws on the TV cabinet to watch television. Now that is cheeky! Does he contribute to their TV licence I wonder? So, friends what are you up to since you can't go out. Staying in is the new going out so they say. Quic...

Morning campers. I hope you are all keeping well. The Lock Downs are fine since you ask. Didn't see one of them much yesterday because the sun was shining and she was outside most of the day. Reading a book. A whole one. All at once. Isn't that the way you eat stolen cake? Coughs. The Lock Down's garden (small) isn't surrounded by a 6ft fence and even at my elderly years I'm liable to escape if I see a cat so I'm only allowed out on a lead or under close supervision. Humpf. I do like to bake my weary bones in the sunshine. May bark to be let outside later...or a nice walk. That would be lovely. Flowers to sniff etc. I like flowers. Back to the news. Looks like we're on lock down for another three weeks. This is a serious worry...the price of dog food in the local shop is rather more than in the supermarket and the Lock Downs are rightly worried. Not as worried as me though. I get ill if my diet is messed about with because they can't get my usual fare. U...

The Lock Down is part of something called the #dailywritimgchallenge. Keeps her busy I suppose. The poor thing feels a bit adrift at the moment but judging by the looks on the faces of the people we pass on our walkies she's not alone. Everyone seems to be going what the heck?  a lot. As long as everyone washes their hands and wrists properly from this time forward then maybe just maybe we'll get out from under. Talking of under I've taken to hiding under a large cushion because if someone gets my lead out and I can't see them then whatever it is they want can't actually be happening. Anyway today's #dailywritingchallenge is about loyalty so I've hijacked the Lock Down's blog page to pass on my ill-considered thoughts on loyalty..here goes ...a dog's eye view. For what it's worth... I'm loyal. Your faithful friend. I'm by your side literally all the time. I look at you with both hope and expectation. I need you and you need me. No, you re...

Greetings earthlings, how be you all? We're certainly not in Kansas anymore that's for sure and the Lock Down to whom am I dictating this dog-blog is vaguely (!) aware it might be Wednesday. Is it? Who knows. Here at Lock Down Mews the Lock Downs have decided that staying in is the new going out and are quite literally taking it in turns to exit the premises for walkies, shopping and running around the block. Mrs Lock Down seems to be the one doing all the shopping, including a trip to the local hardware shop for doggie waste bags and bird seed (she knows how to rock), and Young Lock Down bakes a lot. I sit and wait hopefully for tasty crumbs but she point blank refuses because I'm turning into a "unit" apparently. Not a clue but it sounds vaguely insulting; young people today eh? The only solution to this kind of behaviour is the side eye. Dog owners will know exactly what a side eyed look means...yup...get stuffed in doggie language...be afraid, be very afraid.....

Wow!  I sent out a All Dog's Bark yesterday for dog blogs and I'm thrilled to announce we have a winner! Actually I only had one entrant but it's early days ...all doggy blogs welcome...share the fur, sorry share the love. So a big waggy tail to Boris. And yes it's true, we've met. We walked in the same space that's all I'm saying! Enjoy My name is Boris and I am a German Shepherd. I am the boss. I am a big boy because I am nearly 4. I have met Dogpaws when he came to visit. He was ok but we will ever be best dog friends. He barked at me in my own conservatory. How rude was that! He needn't visit again if he is going to be like that. My Mum was a police dog and my Dad was a pedigree so I am definitely the boss. I own two humans and I also own the downstairs of my house and the gardens. I would like to own upstairs but the humans have a gate to stop me. They sometimes forget to shut the gate so I sneak upstairs to see where I can leave fur. The first time...

Morning all, Hope that everyone is safe distancing and washing their paws. The Lock Down is complaining her hands are dry...not a thought in her head for my poor paws. They need some TLC do my four paws if she has a mo but I'd rather not have a bath if that's ok. My annual spring bath is due soon and I'm already panicking...with not much else to do over the Easter break I could end up with two. Think of me. Us lurchers aren't known for their webbed paws. I look like a drowned rat when I'm being washed and it's not a good look I can assure you.  Is it just here or is everyone getting into a new groove? Physical distancing in this house means I often have a choice of sofas. It's heavenly. They were all working on something different in different rooms yesterday...I was a bit lonely so I had a sleep. Plus ca change. The kettle was on a lot though and that meant the fridge door kept opening but there were no pickings for me sadly. One of the Lock Downs has given...